Sunday, August 7, 2016
I wonder sometimes if you dreams are a way of letting go and excepting things, making it just a bit easier. Today I dreamed about Brooklyn. I know she has been missing and on my mind constantly for the last week, but this time it was a little different.
I dreamed I was back home in my tiny house on Lee Street. My mother kept the cat litter boxes behind the old foot tub, enough room for two boxes. I see my self finding Brooklyn laying on the floor near the boxes in my moms bathroom. My mother is there and she is watching me pick her up. I am so happy to see her, yet sad, because she was laying out like she was broken somewhere, and she was crying for me. I pick her up and it stops, and she clings to me, like she always did, I try putting her down, but she won't let me. The dream finishes with me laying her down to rest..
Maybe this was my dream telling me she was okay, and with my Mother in heaven. Or maybe not even that deep, maybe putting her down and leaving her there, was a sigh for me to let it go..
So I am letting go, the stages of mourning..
Tomorrow is the first day of School here in GA and my Paddy is in 2nd grade. Wow, time flies. Our goal for this year is to learn, get organized and be good. Hey that works for me. My Thomas is second year college, he is going to change his Associated to Biology and if he makes the 2 yr.. then he will go on. He wants to work in a zoo or an animal preserve. My Elizabeth is still a wonderful math teacher. She is such a go getter and is involved in all kinds of stuff at school. Do it while you are young.
My husband still works hard and brings home the bacon.
Me, I am slowly getting up and walking, some days are hard, some are like I have just a limp. I use the pool alot for therapy, but now I am trying to find a routine to transition onto dry land, cause the pool stop usually end of September. I am trying to loss this extra 150 lbs that I accumulated being stuck on my hiney for days on end. I know it is a great big thing to do, but I am going to do it day by day. I believe even the smallest change is an improvement and we will get there.
I guess I will stop here, and I gotta get my self out to the pool, the direct sun , has left the pool and I can go out without burning my skin, although I do have a beautiful tan. It was 96 here today with a real feel of 120.
Shew can we say..we have slothed all day..(layed around)
Have a beautiful end of the weekend.. Will try to hit this again a few days a week. I forgot how much I loved to share and write. Pain, really masks true feeling and motivation.
Remember It really is the simple things..
Saturday, August 6, 2016
What a beauty. What a kind, sweet, loving hearted cat. Brooklyn She was so little when we got her, I was so really afraid she wouldn't make it with our two big old dogs. I was so wrong. From the minute her little self came, my River (my lab) layed down and let her lay between her long front legs. I really actually think she thought River was her mother.
My River passed the summer of 2015 and the world just stood still. She had been with us since a baby and she was almost 17 years old. That is a long time. When she passed the other animals were just lost, as we were.
This summer, actually a week ago, our Brooklyn, strayed off and has yet to return. I really cant imagine her going far. She just always stayed in the yard, but I guess since River passed, she got braver and ventured out further.
I have spent a week, just in a funk, we have checked, looked, called just about everyone and everything. I just don't know.
I am praying that if she is gone (passed) then I pray God takes her over the bridge and I sleep with the thoughts of what a great gift she has been.
If someone has her then I guess, I need to be faithful and hope that she has found a forever home. And maybe we were to train this beautiful animal to be for someone else. Someone who needed her. Because we really can't ever fathom Gods Plans.
And though my heart breaks, I can only pray that God finds the mercy to bring us peace and comfort.
I just thought I would write a little about her, it just seems that when you share the pain, it becomes smaller and sometimes, just posting it, kinda immortalizes her.
So I bid you sweet goodbyes....my sweet, baby Brooklyn...