Inspirational Tuesday >> In My Heart Today. August 11/2015

Didn't like my link not showing a picture.. so a little throw back of my inspirations. My children.
I make pretty kids.

Today, I really wasn’t into going out in the little 15’ up ground pool that we have. Much less make myself go and put on a swimsuit that looks like my granny would have worn. Saving my dignity, I bought the two piece short set, so I could dress myself with ease.  Then with the daunting task of limping  out and down two stairs and pull myself up the other 7 and get into a mildly chilly pool. Now that I have set the mood, do you feel it, just like a giant rainstorm hovering overhead?

I am about 14 weeks post op on a revision hip replacement. I am doing much better, and there is no pain in the new revision. I do really feel improvement. Wish it was faster, but it has been years since I have walked very well at all. The other hip will most probably have to be revised also, because it is the achy one.

I find though one day, I will be all over with my walker, canes and doing my exercises with ease.

 Along with all my other random chores that goes with a house and my family.  Then the next day the residual pain makes me shut down. I of course just can’t accept the fact that maybe just maybe it is a sign to slow down. I refuse that of course and have to analyze this new trend. I am wondering if for the last 7 years when the pain was incredible horrible, if my mind shut down my body, enough just to cope? Realize that coping in my house is still running a home, a young child, older kids, and being a wife.  I think that the mind is powerful. Leaving with that thought pending for more scrutiny, I decided instead of stopping and taking a break day, I would just push through.

So then we come to the storm cloud you read about in the beginning.

Once getting outside the sun was shining, the grass green, birds all over, and a beautiful summer day, all around me and my sad sulking self.

I finally got in the pool and started walking around, and around, and around. I refer to this as being hamster in a wheel. I also call the pool my little pond. It really is a blessing, it has made it so much better to recoup with the water, than even actual therapy.

As I am walking around, I am still pouting, thinking  ... wow, wish I had a friend to do this with, with I had...I wish I had. …when suddenly this beautiful butterfly came floating close to me... kinda like hovering around me as I walked around, and around. Concentrating on walking and watching the butterfly (If you know me, I can barely walk and talk) I start to feel much better, and I am thinking about the old wise tale that a random butterfly is someone sending you love from heaven. That can really make the heart feel warm fuzzy and break through those moody storm clouds.

I started to brighten up.

The will to continue has to come from within. You must love yourself enough to strive to do better, get better. Don’t rely on who, or what you think you are missing. Really no one else can do it for you. No one has ever walked in your shoes, and you know what you must do, take care of yourself.  I am only human, like us all, and days are good, days are bad. Bad things happen to good people too, it is just all in the way you want to handle it. I prefer to go out of this world fighting to become a better person all around.

Encouragement is a blessing from family and friends. Always accept it and be thankful for it, but make it count... Get up; get that body moving...Get out of that box. Do something uncomfortable. Do it afraid, just do it.

In this life I have chosen to keep doing it. It really is that simple.